BY DEB LUND
February 4, 2015
I’m already there! Those dreams, those thoughts, those ideas that couldn’t possibly happen, happened!
That’s how a blog post of mine started out a few years ago. In that post, I went on to ask why no one had told me. And then I recalled comments others had made at the time. People had been telling me. People have been telling me this—I’m already there. There! That elusive place I had wanted to reach. And I always thought, and still think at times, no, there’s so far yet to go. (I couldn’t possibly list all there is to do to get where I want to go.)
Why do we think we’re never enough? What would we do if we were enough?
I remember being perplexed back then, wondering, why now, with no extra accolades, possibilities, or goals reached, did I come to the conclusion that I’m already there?
And why in the world—when we have these epiphanies—can’t we hand on to that feeling of success, accomplishment, peace, joy, or whatever it is that helps us understand that we’re already enough?
Why haven’t I hung on to that feeling ever since then?
The answer to that has never been clear, well, except for when I stop and intentionally see what is in my life. If I could just remember to take inventory a little more often. You’ve had those insights, too, right? Those ones that are crystal clear and then vanish?
What I do know now is that the epiphany involved figuring out what was real and what was childish dreaming. I don’t mean that as a judgment. I actually mean that my dreams were child-like in my expectations of how they would happen. Reflecting on my former dreams and my expectations of how they would come about brings with it an epiphany: the dreams were true and came true; it’s the expectations that were false.
Big dreams are not childish. What’s childish is not seeing the realization of a dream because the details aren’t the ones I envisioned. I didn’t recognize them because they didn’t come true exactly as I planned them. The world kept going on with its business. No one stopped me in the streets. Somehow all the other aspects of my life that I thought would get easier only got more crowded. And what about that idea that I would be filled with unbelievable joy? What happened to that?
It’s time to take that inventory I mentioned… I wanted to live “out west.” I wanted to adopt. I wanted to write books and get published. It’s here! And so are the dirty dishes, the trying teenagers, the dog who pesters me for walks, the aches and pains, the requested revisions (confession: I love revision). Still, the dream, it happened. It just came with some annoying details I didn’t expect. If dreams have fine print, I clearly didn’t read it.
I can focus on not having or I can focus on having. I’m choosing having. Kid issues, schedules, health concerns, financial obligations, dealing with the business end of writing and publishing. So much on my plate. So much to complain about. But they are all the result of getting what I asked for!
Be careful what you ask for. It’s just an old saying that doesn’t apply today, right?
So, what was that dream you dreamed? The one that actually came true, but in disguise? What’s in your life now that you could only visualize before?
Don’t always think about the next, and the next, and the next thing you want. Don’t buy into the gotta have this, this, this…
Look at yourself. Look at where you are. Where you really are if you don’t buy into the poor me stuff.
You had a dream, however big or little it may seem to you now, and you did it. You changed something in your life. You became more you. In the middle of the mess of your life, you can hold on to that dream and to your fulfillment of it. Own it. It’s yours, and don’t ever toss it aside for the more glamorous elusive one.
You can have that one, too. In fact—take another look!—I bet you already have it.
I remember playing baseball with my dad as a kid. He would fire the ball into my glove and I learned to catch as a means of self-defense. Sometimes I was sure there was no way I’d catch a wild throw of his (intentionally wild—he was a star amateur player), but a leap or jump at just the right height or in the right direction, and that ball would surprise me as it slammed itself into my glove. Not the outcome I anticipated, but there was no time to hang on to that glorious catch. I was immediately focused on the next throw, the next catch, the next dream.
Celebrate! Take the time to acknowledge the fulfillment of your dreams. Keep your eyes and your glove open. Sometimes it stings and burns, but there you’ll find it—your dream, right there in your hand.
You’re Already There!
You figured that out before you got to the end here, didn’t you… without me even mentioning the G word. You know. Gratitude.
Deb Lund is the creator of Fiction Magic: Card Tricks & Tips for Writers. She keeps chasing after dreams, some of her own, and some for her coaching clients who enjoy watching her get as excited over their success as she does her own. Check out her website at www.deblund.com, send her a note at email@example.com, or just remember that you’re already there.
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