BY “ELUSIVE” ERIC MULHOLLAND,
Dec. 14, 2013
Oh tra la la! It’s the holiday season and everyone’s got their hand out for a little cash to help keep the lights on for another year. In the latest in a string of “asks” for community support, Whidbey Life Magazine expects me to put my hard earned dollars toward a print version? They got some nerve! Get in line WLM, right behind more worthy causes like “Beet Greens for Llamas” and “Save the Termite Foundation.”
Call me old fashioned, but I like my reading content to be relegated to the glowing of a digital screen. I’ve grown accustomed to reading hunched over my desk, my spine curved and contorted as I sift through pages of useless information on the Internet. Besides, I owe it to my massage therapist to keep my muscular system at a certain level of crap condition so that he can put me back together every month. What if I were to go renegade and read a highly-glossed version of Whidbey Life Magazine in my easy chair, the one with the automatic massage settings? My therapist would go nuts!
Who needs a fancy schmancy magazine cluttering their house anyway? Whidbeyites need the real estate on their coffee tables for more useful items like aromatherapy candles or freshly made sheep cheese and gluten free crackers.
Okay, so maybe some of you would like to flip through the pages of a magazine and see slick pictures of artists at work and read clever articles about the “culture” on Whidbey. But really, isn’t all just a racket? If you’ve seen one rustic ceramic dish haven’t you seen them all? And if its culture you’re after, you should be at local events instead of reading about them.
WLM has employed their best bloggers to go to bat for their cause, even writing clever campaign jargon to help inspire giving. The most recent piece of silliness featuring a cast of crazy characters who would have you believe that the very peace on Whidbey will be threatened if this magazine were not produced. I say if Whidbey is to be cut off from civilization – all the better! Let’s join together to turn away the throngs of ‘townies” clogging the streets of Langley, Coupeville and Oak Harbor.
They say this is the season for giving. And at the rate this “Roll the Presses for WLM” Indiegogo campaign is going, I am going to get just what I want for Christmas! So, keep sitting on your hands Whidbey and do nothing. With your sublime inactivity, we’ll squash another feeble attempt at keeping Arts and Culture alive.
Eric Mulholland is an actor and writer living on Whidbey Island and he really wants to write for a WLM print version. So help a fella out and give a little love to the WLM Indiegogo campaign!